walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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