I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she smelled like a LAN party
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
