I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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