I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
