You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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