Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
