I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
