i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
