I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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