Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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