I love black thongs
i just wanna soil my oats bro
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I could fuck to npr.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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