Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
