Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
