did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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