My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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