why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
