i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dicks are not precious.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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