i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
