someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
