i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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