FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
