At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
