Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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