By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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