; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
