When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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