tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
