I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
