this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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