They should really pass out barf bags in church
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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