Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
