yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He felt like a one man threesome
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
