i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
