Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
