PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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