You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
