seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A bitchslap is in order.
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