your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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