I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All the doctor said was why
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
