So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
