I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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