420 ftw
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
