i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
