All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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