God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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