at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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