Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
