3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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