dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
