your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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