Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
