Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
