Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
