I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
