I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
