Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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