He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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