She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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